The other day I had lunch with a friend who I hadn't seen for a few months. She told me a story that is too good to be true. It's one of those, "it happened to a friend of a friend". But I don't mind spreading stories, even if they are apocryphal. Heck, might make it better. Maybe I could start up an urban legend, that would be cool.
My friend claims that this happened to someone she knows. We'll call her friend, "Betty" for no particular reason.
So, anyway, Betty was out walking her chihuahua in
West Seattle, when suddenly, a coyote appeared from nowhere and snatched up her little doggie. Desperate to save her pooch, Betty pursued the coyote. She chased the coyote onto a neighboring lawn.
Much to Betty's surprise an irate man came barreling out of the house, the grounds to which she had stumbled onto in her hot pursuit. The man began yelling at her to "get off [his] property". The irate man was none other than
Eddie Vedder (who
does have a home in West Seattle). Betty was hysterical by this point and tried to explain that she was merely trying to rescue her innocent pet from the slavering jaws of a wild coyote.
Meanwhile, on a balcony up above, Eddie Vedder's girlfriend appeared, wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses (it was dark out) and carrying an umbrella (it wasn't raining). She proceeded to call the cops. Sadly, Betty never found her Chihuahua, who is presumed to be dead. And eaten. By coyotes.
And it's all Eddie Vedder's fault.
Tags: eddie vedder, killer coyotes